Forever Will Never Be Long Enough
by Thewolfwiththecoffee
Summary: "But forever could never be enough time to prepare her for being away from Tori" Jade has to disappear for a while and no one must know where she is. Tori wakes up and Jade is gone, a letter the only thing she feels she has left of Jade. When will they see each other again? Liverpool, England is a long ways away from L.A. California. Slightly AU.
1. Prologue

Prologue

_Dearest Tori,_

_This is the hardest thing I've ever had to write. Yes it is harder than writing a "chick flick", but only because this letter means goodbye. It's so, so, so complicated, things are happening right now that are beyond my control. I have to disappear for a while. Please forgive me, my love. I don't want to go, but because of these things, I have to. I am so, so, so sorry. Just know I love you more than anything in the world. Remember that when times get hard. Don't forget me. _

_I will always love you,_

_Jade_

Jade had never expected this to be so hard. The letter was stained with fresh tears, and they streamed down her cheeks as she sealed it. She didn't want to leave Tori but as she had said in the letter, things are happening that are beyond her control. Because yes things _are_ happening and they _are_ beyond her control. And no matter how much Jade wishes she didn't have to leave, she has to.

Jade drops the letter off on Tori's doorstep on the way to the airport. She catches her flight to England in tears. She sleeps lightly, jerking awake at every little noise, things are hard and they are only going to get harder. She lands, grabs her luggage, and catches a cab to her little apartment in Liverpool. Jade bought the apartment before these things happened because she knew that it would happen at some point. She opens the door and is greeted by silence, a silence that will be her only company for a long while.

She sleeps heavily that night and wakes up regretfully, wishing she could sleep forever. Dragging herself to the kitchen she grudgingly makes herself an omelet while she practices her accent. Pulling on her coat, she walks out into the cold November air, her heart aches. She can't do this…she needs Tori, she needs Tori so much. She needs Tori to kiss it better, and all Jade wants to do is hold Tori and never let her go. But she can't, she's a billion miles away in Liverpool, England.

"Fuck" Jade curses sharply, dropping to her knees in the snow. She can't do this, she can't, she just can't. Oh but she has to, she knew this was coming. But forever couldn't be enough time to prepare her for being away from Tori. The worst part is; Jade doesn't know when she's going to see Tori again. The thought of that kills her and she starts to sob silently, alone in the cold November air.

Some things just can't last forever.


	2. Where is your heart?

**Hey there lovelies :) its me wolf. Here's chapter 1 sorry its a bit short, I'll try to make chapter 2 longer! :)**

**I just want to thank you all for all of the lovely follows and reviews! It means a lot to me! Its good to know you're all so interested in the story! **

** Don't worry, you'll see what happens to Jade later...trust me. **

** Anywhos Enjoy lovelies. **

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Tori had always loved November. She loves breathing in the cool crisp air and feeling the light breeze ruffle through her hair. She loves it because she can wear long sleeves and scarves, and the cold means that heat is good. But most of all, Tori loves November because it means cuddling with Jade. Jade is the warmest person Tori knows and she has the softest skin Tori has ever felt. Jade's skin is only cold when they're making love, but to Tori that just makes the experience that much better.

Tori wakes up feeling refreshed after a good night's rest. Her parents and Trina are off on a trip of some sort, they left late last night and Tori hadn't paid attention to their explanation as to where they were going at all. She was too tired to care anyway. She gets up, showers, pulls on a pair of dark blue skinnies and a long sleeve grey T-shirt. She brushes her teeth and pads down stairs; she doesn't feel very hungry so she chooses to go get a coffee instead of making breakfast. "I could surprise Jade" She thinks with a soft smile. Grabbing her keys and slipping on her black converse she walks out her front door, almost stepping on a letter.

Tori looks down at the letter, her brow furring as she recognizes Jade's beautiful handwriting scrawled across the front.

"What's this? " She murmurs to herself, picking it up.

She rips it open and reads it;

_Dearest Tori,_

_This is the hardest thing I've ever had to write. Yes it is harder than writing a "chick flick", but only because this letter means goodbye. It's so, so, so complicated, things are happening right now that are beyond my control. I have to disappear for a while. Please forgive me, my love. I don't want to go, but because of these things, I have to. I am so, so, so sorry. Just know I love you more than anything in the world. Remember that when times get hard. Don't forget me._

_I will always love you,_

_Jade_

"N-No!" the brunette starts to cry.

"N-No, no please no this can't be happening, no!" she sobs.

Dropping to her knees, her legs unable to support her body any longer, she starts to sob. It's a heart retching sound that would break even the toughest villain's heart.

"NO!" She howls, holding herself as if she might break if she doesn't.

She slowly trudges inside, sniffling. Sitting down on the couch, she clutches the tear stained letter to her chest, her tears having added to the mix. If she could, Tori would cry. She would break everything in her house, she would hug her knees and cry, she would search for Jade, call her begging her to tell her it's only a sick Joke. She would, but she can't. She can't because she is numb, numb to the core.

A few minutes later the stinging starts, then it melts into a burning, a searing pain that feels like her heart has been ripped out of her chest and burned at the stake, then put out and burned again. Like someone smashed it and left her there to try to fit the pieces back together, like some twisted jigsaw puzzle. She lay there for what felt like years but was only hours, oh but they were long excruciating hours, relentless painful ones. Tori wished this was some horrid nightmare, that she would wake up to Jade's arms wrapped around her and Jade's face buried in her neck. But this was reality, and it was a twisted pain like stepping on a rusty nail.

After it got dark, Tori got up. Blindly feeling her way around the dark kitchen for some water, not caring to turn on a light just stumbling through the pitch black void that is her kitchen. After getting some water, Tori stumbled up the stairs and collapsed onto the bed. Still completely numb, not caring what happened to her. She stayed up 'til 3 just thinking of Jade, she didn't care if it hurt, it was somewhat comforting too.

She drifted off into a dreamless sleep, clutching the tear stained letter close to her heart.

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**Hoped you liked it! Chapter 2 will be up soon so keep watch! **

** Don't kill me! You'll find out what happened to Jade in the next chapter or two. **

** Reviews feed the starving author :P**

** Thanks lovelies! :)**

** ~Wolf **


	3. Can't do this

Tori blamed herself, she blamed herself for Jades absence from her life. She had tried to come up with reasons Jade would leave, but found none. She could only think that it was her that made Jade leave. After finding the "cause" she thought of the things she must've done wrong. Every night, Tori lie in bed thinking the same thought; "What did I do wrong?" Silence was the only answer.

Eventually Tori became completely numb. Being without Jade was so painful that she didn't want to feel it anymore. Tori made herself numb, she put up walls, giant, unbreakable, walls. It was bad enough she didn't have Jade, but she didn't even know where Jade was. Tori also didn't have Jade's number, what Tori didn't know was that Jade had changed her phone number. That stung Tori the most.

Andre and the rest of the gang, minus Jade, had stopped by and were trying to convince Tori to go to Nozu with them. Nozu was where Jade and Tori's first date was, even though neither really thought the other was thinking of it as a date. .

"No" Tori stated slightly coolly.

"No? But you love Nozu" Beck stated softly, it hurt him to see her like this.

"No I don't, well not anymore" Tori murmured sadly, memories flying about in her head.

"Tori" Cat sighed, walking over and hugging her. Cat has always been Tori's shoulder.

"I just don't get why she'd just pick up and leave like that" Robbie murmured. He got a few glares for that.

"It was probably all my fault, I must've done something" Tori sighs.

"Hey now don't say that" Beck says.

"Yeah chika it's not your fault" Andre chimes in.

Tori didn't respond, she just sighed and continued to rest her head on Cat's shoulder. Eventually Tori gave in and went; she sat in back between Cat and Beck. Her head was currently resting on Becks shoulder. Beck became super protective of Tori after Jade left without a trace. He stops anyone trying to pry at her, bully her, or just plain bother her. He knows she doesn't want to be bothered anymore; he knows she's not the same Tori from before.

Cat knows this too. She stays by Tori's side throughout the day and is less hyper than before. Cat became the person she was before Tori came; she isn't as happy and random because there is no aura to share. Cat acted off of Tori's happy, lovely, loving, free, aura, when Jade left Tori lost that aura thus so did Cat. She is now calm and quiet, the way she was before Tori came to Hollywood Arts.

Everyone changed after Jade left because it affected everyone. They changed because Tori brought life to everything and now she doesn't have that life anymore; her once bright coffee brown eyes are now dull and full of pain.

As they arrived at Nozu, Tori started to feel ill, the sad kind of ill. She couldn't do this.

"I-I can't do this" She murmured, her voice soft and sad.

"Do you want to leave?" Beck and Cat asked.

Tori sadly shook her head "Yes" she murmured.

Andre and Robbie said they'd catch a bus and handed the keys to Beck. Beck, Cat, and Tori all walked out to the parking lot. Beck started the car as Cat and Tori got in, and started to drive to Starbucks.

Tori absent mindedly stared out the window the whole drive, lost in memories of happier times.

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Hey there, hope you like this chapter. :) It may be edited.

Enjoy.

I don't own Victorious or any of the characters :/.

Reviews make a wolfy howl :)

~Wolfy


	4. The Underground

Jade sighed as she walked out of her apartment in Liverpool. Putting on her British accent and getting onto her new motorcycle, she taps her earpiece before putting on her helmet.

"Call Alex" She mumbles into the earpiece.

"Calling Alex" It responds in it's monotonous robot voice.

She lets it ring and thinks about how Tori is doing right now. God is she sorry for leaving her like that, if it were her choice Tori would be riding on the back of the bike right now.

"Jade" Alex's voice greets her.

"Hey" She mumbles

"Ah I see you made it in well" He says cheerily, even though he knows Jade is royally pissed.

"Yeah, thanks. When does training start" She sighs.

"Er…today if you're ready" He murmurs slightly confused.

"Good, be there in a few" She mutters, hanging up.

Jade tears down the highway on the way to 'The Underground', speeding along on her motorcycle. All she is thinking about is how hurt Tori must be right now. Jade can't help the fact that her uncle needs her help. She arrives and parks in The Underground's underground garage. Walking up to the desk, Jade flashes her newly issued agent ID.

"Ah hello Jadelyn" Alex greets her.

"Hi Alex" She mumbles.

"You're quite happy this morning" He chuckles, she shoots him a killer look and he stops.

"When do we start" is all she mumbles as she walks to the training room.

"Now" He announces as she steps into the room.

The training room isn't exactly a room; it's more like multiple rooms. There's a shooting room, a combat room, a reflex testing room, the room of shadows (to train new agents on sneaking and stealth) and many other rooms for training in different subjects. They go to the combat room first.

"Your uncle told me you kick box?" Alex asked.

"Yeah, that and Brazilian" Jade mumbles back.

"Well then" He throws a kick at her "you won't mind a little sparing then"

Jade blocks his kick and throws one of her own. "Nope not at all" She grins.

He throws a punch and she catches it, throwing him down with it. He gets up and throws another few kicks at her, all of which she dodges.

"You really suck at this" Jade laughs.

"Well you see, fighting isn't my thing. I am merely an informant to your uncle." He mumbles back.

"Ah…makes sense" She snickers.

They trade blows until Jade gives him a wicked bloody nose, Alex quits then. He determines that she is fit for combat, one test passed out of many. The next test is in shooting. Alex hands Jade a loaded single-shot. She picks it up, examining it before looking at the targets. Aiming carefully, she shoots three almost-perfect shots and one perfect. Sighing she puts the single-shot down.

"We done yet" she huffs.

"Not even close, sorry" Alex mutters.

She just nods and takes the next gun he hands to her, an M16.

Jade shoots all of the targets in the obstacle course she was led to. There were 200 targets total and she shot all of them while displaying how to switch out guns properly in the midst of battle.

They had gone through all of the rooms, her training was done. Jade was officially an Underground agent. She would start her first mission in a few days. In all reality Jade hated all of this. Being away from Tori was worse than torture to Jade and she hated it. When Jade got home to her little apartment she sighed and sat down and cried.

She wished Tori were here to hold her and tell her it was okay and that she would never leave. But Jade was the one who left, and that tore her apart inside. This was never supposed to happen in the first place. Jade wasn't supposed to be in Liverpool, she was supposed to be with Tori kissing her senseless. Jade absolutely hated herself for leaving Tori, so much that she decided to leave after the major mission was completed. It was a deal she made with herself and the bottle of whiskey in front of her.

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Hello again lovelies. I decided to have this story take an interesting turn. Hope you like it because I kinda do. Anywho enjoy the chapter.

I don't own Victorious or any of its characters, but I do own Alex.

Hope ya like it :).

Reviews are wonderful for the soul.

With love,

Wolfy.


	5. Training, memories, and unexpected calls

"C'mon Jade, just a few more" Alex says as Jade power-kicks through another wooden dummy.

"Shut up" Is Jade's response.

She power-kicks and punches through several more dummies and is finally done with the training she had to go through. She honestly thinks all the training is pointless but that's not what her uncle thinks. Her uncle thinks it's the most important part of being an "Underground" agent.

"Good job, Jadelyn" Alex congratulates her.

She just sighs and walks off to the sparing room

"I'm telling you Jack…she…..no…..no…..oka…...okay...yes sir…" Jade can only pick up a little of what Alex is saying because of the door separating them.

"Yes….yes…..no…but….the other girl….no sir…..yes…okay sir I'll keep on it…yes…okay…..bye sir" Jade quickly moves away from the door just as Alex opens it.

"You're terrible at listening in on things." He mumbles.

"You knew the whole time?" Jade asks, amazed.

"Yes. It's something we are taught right before the first of many of our side missions." He chuckles and she sighs.

"What did he want?" Jade knows that Alex knows she's talking about her uncle Jack.

"Just wanted to check on how you were doing" Alex says nonchalantly, but Jade knows he's hiding something.

"What was that about the other girl?" Jade asks narrowing her eyes, she already knows they are talking about Tori.

Alex sighs. "Yes, Jade we were talking about Tori, but only because that's another thing to how you are doing." He mutters, knowing that is a very touchy subject to Jade. The wounds are still raw.

"What about Tori?" Jade growls.

"He just wanted to know how badly that's affecting you" Alex sighs.

Jade sighs too. It's still affecting her, badly. She decides to tell the truth. No use lying, "Badly."

Alex sighs "Beck is still a messenger, and although it's for a different unit, we are still on the same team."

"Your point" Jade says coolly.

"He can leave a letter at Tori's door" Alex mumbles, knowing Jade's uncle wouldn't completely approve.

"Please" Jade responds.

Another sigh "Okay, write it and give it to me by the end of the week" Alex mutters, giving Jade a small smile.

She smiles back, today ended up being good after all.

After she had gotten home, Jade did what she always does; Whiskey (or beer) and a movie. She had to stop watching 'The Scissoring' because all it did was make her think of Tori. The last time she watched it; she broke down into tears and almost drank herself to death.

"Fuck" she sighed.

There was really nothing to watch and definitely nothing to do. Plus, Jade wasn't about to go to the bar again. Last time was bad enough. Sighing she decides to just watch some jackass. Yeah, sure they are dumbasses and sure, that movie sounds like doesn't fit her attitude, but there are a lot of things you don't know about Jade West. She chuckles as Knoxville gets bit on the nipple by a baby alligator.

After that was done she went to bed. The only thing she has to look forward to is that letter. But there was only one problem; Jade had no idea what to write.

Alex stopped by Jade's apartment that morning to tell her that they would be training half the day today because he had a meeting. This was kind of a relief to Jade, she was still sore from yesterday. Sure she may be tough, but Jade West can still feel pain. She's just great at hiding it, only Tori can tell when she's truly hurting. Tori not being here only makes the pain worse.

So she and Alex went off to train her skills in dodging and the effectiveness of her hits. Alex is training her on these things in specific so she can be ready in case the enemy disarms her. He trains her from 7:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m., and he can tell she's worn out from all of the training she's endured. He lets her go at 7:30, after explaining how to curve her kicks just right.

"Okay Jadelyn, you've done quite well these past few days so tomorrow I'll give you a break." Alex says with a kind smile.

"What am I supposed to do?" Jade asks, her usual snarkyness and sarcasm absent from her voice.

"How about you go walking around Liverpool?" He suggests

She sighs "Why not" she starts to walk away and then stops "Oh and by the way, you can call me Jade" She tosses a smile back his was and he just simply waves.

Alex knows Jade probably doesn't remember, but he was her caretaker until he had to go back to England. He played with her, cooked for her, read to her, taught her, picked her up from school, hell he was her best friend. Jade never played well with the other children, her idea of fun was different from theirs. Her imagination was much more advanced than that of the other children's.

When Jade was 7 Alex had to go back to England, Jade cried and cried and told him he couldn't go. She told him that he had to stay and that she would try to make more friends in order for him to stay. It hurt him when she did that, it hurt him because she didn't understand that him leaving wasn't her fault. She had thought that she had done something to make him leave, and of course because he was bound to secrecy by The Underground he couldn't tell her the true reason why.

Before he walked out the door she had hugged his legs and cried. She begged to go with him. Well Alex bent down, wiped the tears from her eyes, gave her a sad smile, and made a promise that he knew he may not be able to keep.

"Jadelyn, we'll meet again, I promise." He gave her the biggest hug, got up, gathered his things, and slowly walked out the door.

He saw her, in the window, crying, sobbing, hands smudging the glass as she silently begged him not to go. He could hear her cries even after he got into his car. He cried himself, as he pulled out of the driveway. He got halfway down the central road away from little Jadelyn's house before he had to pull over and pull himself together.

Knowing Jade, Alex knew she would push him from her memories and forget about him, as she does with every other painful thing that has happened to her. But there were other things that were burned into her memory, like her mother's death. That was another thing she longed to forget. Alex knows she still remembers, she just keeps it to herself.

Like many other things in her life, she blocks it out.

Jade got home, took a shower, and collapsed onto her couch. It wasn't long before she was sound asleep.

She dreamt that night. She dreamt that she and Tori were running through a snowy field towards a little cottage. Tori got ahead of her somehow and went into the cottage. When Jade got there the door was locked and she couldn't get in, she could hear Tori banging on the door from the other side, then silence. Her surroundings melted together in a blur and soon she was standing alone. No Tori, no snowy field, no cozy cottage, just cold, white, silence.

Jade jolted awake in a sticky, cold, sweat. Shivering from the disturbing dream, she wanted nothing more than to be held by Tori, and told that everything was going to be alright, by Tori. But there was no Tori, and there was no soft, sweet, voice to lull her back to sleep. Jade was alone, Jade hated being alone.

She awoke again to her phone going off, she looked over and immediately thought she was going crazy. It was Beck, Alex must've told him what was going on, and after all he's part of TU as well.

"Hello?" Jade nervously answered.

"Jade, it's Beck, you'd better hurry up with that damn letter" He said slightly panicked.

"What, why?" Jade asked, worried.

"Tori isn't in the best shape right now" Beck said, trying not to scare Jade.

Too late.

"What, why?!" Jade was fully panicked and worried now.

"Shit" Beck mumbled.

"What?" Jade asked still freaking out.

"They're coming, I gotta go" he mumbled before hanging up.

"Shit, shit, shit" Jade murmured scared and panicking. She had to figure out what to write and fast.

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**Hey there lovelies! Sorry it took so long, I had writers block again, and then finals and then more writers block. But here it is! ch.5. **

** I really don't know when the next chapter is coming so I tried to make this one long. I think I failed. Oh well. I'll try to update You're my Insomnia soon as well. :) **

** Well, I hope you enjoy this one! **

** Thanks for all of the wonderful reviews so far! You are all wonderful! **

** Reviews make a wolfy give you a toothy grin and help unblock her writers block. **

** You're all wonderful! Thank you all so much! **

** Until next time lovelies, **

** ~Wolfy**


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